20 Feb Transformation Happens Now
Blog Photo Credit: Olga Zwart
In 2019, I made one of the biggest decisions of my life. I sat down in a meeting with my former business partner and told him I no longer wanted to be co-owner of a business we founded and worked on together for the last six years of our lives. I was very sad I cared about him, and I was thinking, “Did that just happen?”. I knew we would have many steps to take to exit, that it would be hard, but fuck, it was and still is so hard to let go. It was almost easier to hold onto the comfort than experience the change. But I knew in my heart it was time for me to go. I wasn’t the fit my business partner needed to thrive in the way he could, and he wasn’t the fit for me to thrive as the person I was meant to become. As I transition into a new chapter of my life, I still struggle with all the emotions of guilt, fear, sadness, anger, grief, resentment, and denial. Even though I wasn’t feeling fulfilled with what I was doing, I was leaving behind the comfort. However, I felt lifted as the days continued, and it was then that I felt so aligned with my values and purpose.
When I applied for lululemon’s Purpose & Practice two-day retreat last year, I had no intention of leaving my company. So, the decision shocked me as much as it shocked our community. At the time, I was a part-time educator with lululemon. The intention of lululemon’s Purpose & Practice Retreat was to lead us through a deep level of powerful personal inquiry, embodied learning, and principle-based content to guide us in living a purposeful life. Amazing right? It was.
Development Workshop
It was a blessing to have received acceptance into lululemon’s Purpose & Practice that I attended over the weekend. The timing could not have been better for where I was in life (secretly thanking the universe). I always knew that I would attend a Purpose & Practice one day as I set out an intention to achieve this goal after seeing another lemon (jargon for lululemon employee) attend one through their social media. I didn’t expect to get accepted as early as I did. I felt so much joy and excitement when I found out I was going to be a participant in the retreat. I live for personal development!! To be a part-time educator and still be granted these opportunities reminds me what a truly fantastic company I work for.
Daily Vinyasa Yoga Practice with Danielle Mika
Throughout the weekend, I had the chance to meet lemons from all walks of life – some from right here in Vancouver and others from around the world. We practiced deep learning together through yoga, meditation, journaling and several workshops. We gained tools to release whatever our limitations may have been and invited possibilities for ourselves. As we worked through each workshop, I became closer and closer to understanding myself and what drives my purpose. These retreats work if you put in the work. What was powerful, was the opportunity to share our experiences with each other in a safer space.
Sweaty Speaking Moment
I remember standing at the microphone as one of the last speakers on the last day, with sweaty armpits, breathing so I don’t ugly cry, fighting to keep my legs from shaking and clutching my notebook against my chest. I felt nerves. What a foreign sensation for a recently graduated business student who had done SEVERAL public speaking events but nothing like this. After introducing myself, one of our facilitators demanded that I let go of the notebook I had held for dear life and have my hands to my side. It was then I spoke my truth (this version is a bit extended than what I shared in person):
My truth was that I struggled with being a perfectionist and that I cared about what others thought of me or my work. I was worried about being seen because, deep down, I believed I was never enough to be seen. It was easy to give my power away to situations that allowed me to remain hidden. I made excuses for why I never went for the work promotion, why I can’t work out or why I allowed myself to be undervalued.
I felt defeated because I was aware of this.
I worked hard through my daily meditations and journaling. I even started weight training again and worked on improving my nutrition. Yet, I still held in my mind the limiting beliefs I had about myself, and I would beat myself up over them. It wasn’t until I was forced to address my challenges continuously throughout the weekend. My perfectionism showed up often over the weekend in how I moved, talked and interacted with myself. Through my 1:1 coaching with my coach Nishga, I became aware that my body was still powerfully holding onto anxiety as a result of all my negative self-talk.
It wasn’t until we partook in the two-hour yoga practice that we did daily as a collective that I felt so much mental and physical relief.
“I feel lighter”.
When Nishga reminded me of my own words, I was thrown. I had forgotten what I’d said. At that moment, I realized I’d found what I’d been looking for. I asked Nishga to remind me of my exact words, and then she advised me to write them down in my notebook. She gave me more tools to access free yoga videos to start my commitment. Incredible, I know.
“I feel lighter”, as I remember now telling Jian that first night and he said ” it hasn’t even started yet”.
In hindsight, as I write this now, it makes so much sense that I was still holding onto so much anxiety – I had not been doing anything to adequately relieve myself of the negativity in my body. I had been weight training, but I knew deep down that it was not serving me spiritually.
I am now committing to a weekly practice of yoga to take care of my body in the way it needs, which means creating a balance between weight training AND yoga. The relationship with our body is so important. The body tells us how it’s feeling in many ways; if we take the time to listen, we will better understand ourselves. I certainly do.
I’m proud of my purpose statement, which I have revised multiple times over the weekend and again throughout the years:
I am here to create unique spaces that allow me to fully express my authentic self through connection, deep listening, and gratitude. In turn, holding space for others to live their truest self.
My deepest gratitude goes to the GEC department, Mindful Performance team and every person at the GEC who supported me and paved the way for me to be in this moment now. To the Mindful Performance team for creating a space for myself and the other 199 lemons to be vulnerable, share, and step into our most authentic selves. To be diamonds, as Ali would say. To be in practice and sync with like-minded individuals in an ALL-EXPENSE PAID RETREAT is an experience of a lifetime. Talk about investing in your team!
lululemon Shanghai Ambassador Rachel and Mindful Performance Manager/Former Ambassador Jian Pablico
Jian, your presence and the time you’ve shared with me to help me along this journey since last Summer was what first lit my soul on fire to start working on becoming my most authentic self. I appreciate the strength you’ve shared with me in every interaction we have had. You inspire me.
Physical Releases
I have the courage to speak my truth, be seen, and know I am enough. This weekend taught me how to receive the kind words from my fellow lemons that I am brave, worthy, courageous and inspiring. Thank you, lemons, for seeing me. #joblove
Arianne Liu works on the Learning and Leadership team with lululemon in Vancouver, BC, Canada. She is the co-founder/owner of the mobile personal training service Unfold Movement, based in Brunei and Canada. Arianne is also an instructor for diversity and inclusion workshops. She is the co-founder and former co-owner of personal training studio DyerFitness Inc. One of her many mantras that keeps her grounded is “progress over perfection.” Arianne believes in using her life, travel, and business experience as a form of education for herself, her clients and her community.
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